The problem of self-confidence: One of the biggest impediments that prevent us from achieving our goals.
When others expect something from us, we tend to feel, and even worse, we are afraid not to live up to their expectations and disappoint them.
Even if we are extremely qualified people, who have thousands of years of studies behind, nothing but a skill can stop us from being afraid. Without this skill, we are lost: Self-confidence. Without this quality, we are “useless”. When we don’t have faith in ourselves, it’s the end, there is nothing we can do, that’s a fact.
Take a moment to think what self-confidence means. Likely, we all have the concept very clear: “Ability to believe in oneself to accomplish any task, leaving aside the obstacles and the difficulties standing in one’s way.” However, if instead of thinking about the definition itself, we try to apply it to our personality and how we use it in each situation of our daily life, we realize this skill is not put into practice as much as it should.
Regardless of how disastrous this may seem, not everything is lost. There are people who are born being confident, and the rest of us who, unfortunately, are born being insecure even when deciding what to order in a restaurant; lots of things sound good, and none of them have a life-or-death impact on our lives, or at least that’s what we think.
Every day we make thousands of decisions, some less important as choosing the what to order in a restaurant or choosing our daily clothes and others more important which sooner or later will have an impact on our lives. All of them depend, in one sense or another, on our confidence in ourselves. For this reason, it is important, not to give up every time we have to face a situation that is beyond our reach. Everything is in our mind.
If when learning how to ride a bike, we think we are going to crash or fall, we will indeed fall, not because we are doing it wrong, but because we do not believe in ourselves. The same goes for our life projects, if we think we are doing it wrong, or that we will not be able to meet other’s expectations, our performance will not be the same.
Once more, not everything is lost, self-confidence is something that arises with practice. Society expects us to be confident with ourselves, but this is not something that comes overnight, there is no magic button that makes us believe in ourselves, but there are techniques, magic techniques, we all have experienced at some point.
Our favorite technique is, overall, repetition. Sure we have never been told that in order to get better at something, all it takes is practice. The first time nothing will come easily, and maybe neither the second nor the third, but to the fourth, you will see progress.
All the skills we have today, are thanks to the repetition. If it wasn’t because of repetition, we may not be where we are nowadays. Remember, you haven’t come this far, to only come this far. Take advantage of it. Take advantage of your knowledge.
Now, practicing the technique of repetition is very easy when it’s about learning something practical such as maths or physics, or when we have to learn a language, but when we have to perfect a skill, of such importance, as self-confidence, it takes more than repetition. We need will. Will to test ourselves and leave our comfort zone, will to be better and overcome our fears.
Easy right? Repetition + Will = Trust. It is not. There are always exceptions. Sometimes even if we have will, and we want to do something with all our heart, pressure and fear of failure can play tricks on us.
We are all ready to repeat something if it implies achieving a goal, but how many of us would be willing to persist after many ineffective attempts? Probably not many. Failure is scary, it frightens us. But we have to face it.
So the next time you face a problem, or there is an obstacle in your way, do not forget that your mind is your worst enemy, and do not accept no for an answer. Do your best to achieve your goal.
Face your fears, your limits, and do your best to believe in yourself.
Trust is the key to success, and no matter how much we are afraid of failing, or for many tricks pressure plays on us, our mind can always fight them.